Wednesday, March 20, 2013

20/31 SOLC THOUGHTS IN THE NIGHT

I hate those nights. The nights that overwhelm the soul. It weeps. There is no numbing the pain; no painkiller or drink strong enough. For it's the realization that I'm in this alone. I weep for the stupid nineteen year old who believed in I love you's. I weep for the momma who wakes everyday thinking this is the day everyone sees her miserable failures. I weep for the broken heart who just wants to be loved. I weep uncontrollable body shattering sobs until the sun comes. For when it rises, I too must rise and be strong and be brave. Though the sun shines on my face, the night rages on inside my mind as I continue to cry silently. Bearing it alone. For I'm not able to receive love or to be loved. I don't know why Venus has doomed me on my journey. Forcing me to take my path alone. At this moment in the night, I would give anything to feel arms around me or hands caressing my face and here the words, "It'll be okay." Instead I reassuringly tell myself these words only for them to fall flatly into the air. Echoing. A reminder that no one's there.

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