Fenced in Friendship

Oh to have the innocence of a child when it comes to friendship. Gracie and her Mister Friend next door haven't let a fence stop them from becoming fast friends. They play every afternoon throwing the ball or chasing the dog or seeing who is the fastest runner.

This made me think of my own life how friends come and go. How connections you think are real....really aren't.

I'm a very trusting person and will give people the benefit of the doubt, but I don't want to be doormat.

Since we are all adults why can't a person say, "You know...I thought we were going to be friends, but I can't really stand being around you." Does the honesty sting a little of course, but it sure beats the angst of wondering what did I do? What did I say? What can I do to make you respond to me?

Let's face it our society is all about what can you do for me. And truly if that's why you want to be my friend then you need to go elsewhere. Because baby, I'm worth it. I stick by friends and support them. I love then with all my being. If that isn't what friendship is to you...then adios.

The Arrival of a New Season

Fall isn't a time that I would normally say is a time of rejuvenation.  In fact this fall I would say is a reprieve.  A reprieve from the heat at last and a reprieve from feelings. 

I am someone who things she is too busy to feel, to love, to venture out.  I play it safe.  Or at least I did.

Summer is a blissful time. My summer was spent fulfilling dreams. Realizing there are more dreams in my heart that need to be cultivated.  Dreams are just that dreams.  Reality hits with the arrival fall.  Well, maybe I should say life arrived and reminded me that dreams are what our heart hangs onto to get through the dailies of life.  As an adult who is almost 35 I am realizing my life is half over with things undiscovered;  I want to find a balance of reality and my dreams.

 My decisions as a young adult were done in what I thought was surrounded in love.  My decisions as a middle-aged (OMG,  how I hate that word) adult can't be based on what ifs or regrets.  The facts are I am an adult with 2 little ones that miss their mommy after one day away.  So my dreams too are going to hibernate because the facts are my life isn't about me.  I can't make my dreams happen alone.  I am not going to apologize for who I am anymore.  I've done that for far too long.

i am a girl who gives her heart away to easily
i am a girl who feels so deeply that her whole body aches
i can't change who i am
someone already tried
accept me for who i am

i am a giggly girl
i am passionate
i won't change who i am
because there is nothing wrong
with who  i am

i am daring
i won't hide anymore
Fall is here.  

Down syndrome Awareness 2/31

The world demands perfection. At least that is how I feel most of the time. Perfection. No blemishes.

In the world I live in I don't demand perfection. I expect you to give your best. Last month while listening to Pink's song perfect I began to reflect on the words and the world Emma lives in. Click on the link to read. Perfect

My view of the world comes from wanting to protect my child from pain. The world fails to see her many qualities that are unique to her.

I challenge you to learn more about people who live with disabilities. More than 3 million people in the U.S. are disabled either mentally or physically.

You can be the change in the world. It only starts with one person. One voice. You decide. You make the difference.

Life with a Little Something Extra Day 1/31

Last weekend Emma had her first Special Olympic event. She had a wonderful peer buddy, Miss B.  She was FABULOUS!  What I loved most about this event is that Emma was able to shine.  She felt important.  Supported by her "team." And happy. 

I hear so often that happiness is found in people with Down syndrome.  This used to really bother me and I would reply, "Absolutely, they have found that happiness is  attritubed to her extra chromosome."  Or some other snarky comment. Now I've realized that it isn't about her happiness, but the happiness she brings to others.

She loves.  She loves innocently and whole-heartedly. 

As adults we are guarded. We know what a cruel place the world really is.  We know that when you love you lose sometimes and then comes a broken heart. 

Emma hasn't experienced heart ache yet. I wish I could protect her forever so that the innocence will stay permanently. But, alas this is a part of growing up.

But, I find happiness in the fact that she is loved by many.  She finds happiness in the safety that she is accepted....for all her wonderful things.