Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Arrival of a New Season

Fall isn't a time that I would normally say is a time of rejuvenation.  In fact this fall I would say is a reprieve.  A reprieve from the heat at last and a reprieve from feelings. 

I am someone who things she is too busy to feel, to love, to venture out.  I play it safe.  Or at least I did.

Summer is a blissful time. My summer was spent fulfilling dreams. Realizing there are more dreams in my heart that need to be cultivated.  Dreams are just that dreams.  Reality hits with the arrival fall.  Well, maybe I should say life arrived and reminded me that dreams are what our heart hangs onto to get through the dailies of life.  As an adult who is almost 35 I am realizing my life is half over with things undiscovered;  I want to find a balance of reality and my dreams.

 My decisions as a young adult were done in what I thought was surrounded in love.  My decisions as a middle-aged (OMG,  how I hate that word) adult can't be based on what ifs or regrets.  The facts are I am an adult with 2 little ones that miss their mommy after one day away.  So my dreams too are going to hibernate because the facts are my life isn't about me.  I can't make my dreams happen alone.  I am not going to apologize for who I am anymore.  I've done that for far too long.

i am a girl who gives her heart away to easily
i am a girl who feels so deeply that her whole body aches
i can't change who i am
someone already tried
accept me for who i am

i am a giggly girl
i am passionate
i won't change who i am
because there is nothing wrong
with who  i am

i am daring
i won't hide anymore
Fall is here.  

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