SOLC~Grief Happens

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With the excitement of the new year comes Back To School Night. Tonight I get to be mommy and not teacher. Tonight I am able to sit back and listen and soak all of the elementary-ness of it. I absolutely love a primary education classroom. The color. The newness. The learning I know takes place. I am in awe when I realize the first graders in this room are going to LEARN to read in this room. As I fill out the paper work and Mrs. T begins her presentation the new report card comes around. I take a look and realize that my little one is up a creek. Just last week I was explaining to my students what it meant to have a genetic disorder that my kid is no different from them except that she learns at a slower pace. It's one thing to say this to my students and another to see it in black and white. To know that my first grader is actually on the same cognitive level as my 3 year old. To see it in black and white makes it so real. I do realize this sounds like I'm in denial. I am fully aware of what Little E can and can't do. But a few times a year the realness hits me like a wall. But in the realness of it all I was able to see my daughter's heart topics that she chose and remembered the conversation I had with Miss L today about this writing activity. How Emma was able to tell her using her own words what was important to her: her mommy, her daddy, Gracie, school, music, crowns (aka princess) and Izzy Bea. It shouldn't matter that she is delayed. I am so thankful she is happy and healthy. But I do wish the realness of Down syndrome didn't have to hit me so hard.