It's a Creepin'

35. Wow! In the words of my BFF's hubby I am half way to 70. Excellent!

Five years ago when I turned the big 30 I was facing raising two little ones as a single mom and found myself in a place that I never thought I'd be. So the question I have really begun to ask myself is where do I go from here?

The last five years have brought about lots of change: a divorce, a new job, and new people in my life.  So, really doesn't 35 sound pretty good?

I am in a good place.  I am surrounded by people who care for me.  I am jumping each chance I get.  (Jump is my one little word to live by for 2013) So really what do I have to fear?  Fear cannot control a person indefinitely.  We need to refuse to allow it to control our decisions.  I refuse to allow it in my life. PERIOD!

When I look at the first month of 2013 and I see what wonderful things have happened, I really can't say that 35 is creeping up on my like my wrinkles.  35 has knocked me over and said, "It is time to live your life."  So....

IQ is Just Another Number

Being an educator I know that Emma turning nine is a big deal in the school's eyes.  She no longer becomes "developmentally delayed," but an actual category or label now.  Now, every time someone picks up her IEP they will first read her IQ score. 

I had emailed the school to please send me the results before the meeting so that when I saw the numbers it woldn't be the first time.  They graciously allowed me the time to process this information. I thought I would crumble into a fine pillar of dust when I heard the news, but I didn't.  When Emma was born the one thing I wanted was for her not to have the category she is going to recieve, but to have other health impairment.  I thought this would be the worst thing for her.  It isn't.  The worst for her would be if I saw her as a number, and I don't. 

I understand that it is just a number.  But, I also know that to some people it isn't.  For some people it will be a reminder of all the things she can't do.  However, I choose to see these things.

• A little girl who has worked so very hard to overcome the simple things we take for granted like learning to talk, walk, and read.
• A child who belly laughs so hard that she gives her self the hiccups and we all tumble into a heap of laughter.
• A precious girl who never, ever gives up.  She tries again. And again. And again.
• My daughter is strong and I would like to think she gets it from me, from my example, but I draw on her strength each day.  I watch her persevere and I think if Little E can do it, so can I.
• She has a sense of humor that invloves playing jokes, albeit, not always at the right time, but funny, nonetheless.
• A darling, caring heart that hurts for others when they are hurt, that says, "I'm sorry" when she's wrong, and hugs those who are experiencing pain.

These things have nothing to do with the magic number that has deemed her "less."  As human beings we should never categorize or label those that are different.  She is not less.  She is not different.  She is a girl who's life isn't passing me by.  She is a girl who loves so deeply that I can only hope that my love repays what she gives.  She is a girl who will one day live on her own, have a job,  and hopefully find love. 

But she is not a number.

She is my daughter.

Little E.

Past my Past

Fears set aside
revealing healed scars.

Threatening to flare up and become
tender at the thought
of trying again.

It must stop.
My past cannot define my future
I do believe.

Fears abating
I've let go.

Season of Surprise

The holiday season is over. The tree is put away.  Lights dimmed.  Now the wonderful bleakness of January has arrived.   But, this year is different.  I didn't want to put the tree away.  Winter Break was full of surprises. Pleasant, heart warming surprises.

I think the best thing about life is when it surprises you.  These surprises are like a kiss on a forehead...endearing and heartfelt.

As January has begun full swing I am not dreading the coldness and dreariness, but welcoming the sun warming surprises.

It's Here...well for Pre-Purchase...

I know I'm a geek...I realize that I am hopelessly in love with the Units of Study by Teacher's College, but the new books are available for pre-purchase!!  I am so excited!!! Take a look!!

Units of Study for 2nd

Songs Through My Life

I have often said that my life would be so much easier if everyone realized it was a musical. In high school I loved the oldies and Phantom of the Oprah and Alternative Rock and last, but certainly not least Alanis Morrissette.

College was filled with fawning and following what I thought were my dreams, but only turned out to be doing what I thought was the dutiful thing to do when you got married...you know "I love him, I love him, I love him and where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow."

Then my musical hit my late 20's and turned into soft lullabies at the birth of my children. "Summertime and the livin' is easy, the fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high." 

The jarring realization as the 30s hit really turned into a hodge podge of music.  Because at the same time that my world turned upside down, a wonderful show called Glee entered my life and introduced me to the great thing called a "mash up."

The Playlist of my 30s.

* Defying Gravity
*Maybe This Time
*Mash up of Rolling In the Deep/Somebody to Love
*Mash up of Set Fire to the Rain/Girl on Fire

So when trying to explain how I feel right now at this exact moment in my life I would have to say it's another mash up of Happy/The Way I Am.

I am getting ready to celebrate the 10th anniversary of turning 25 in a few weeks and I am so glad that my playlist today says that I am content in who I am.  It says that I am ready to take risks.  I am thrilled that I am no longer at the place I was 5 years ago when all I wanted was for my bed to swallow me up so I wouldn't have to think about what happened to my family. My playlist or really my life is a happy one.  

My musical has new characters in it; except this time the characters add to it.  It's fun to wake up each day and think, "Wow, how did I get this lucky?"

Fairytales

My students and I have begun our fairy tale unit.  Today we brainstormed a list of nursery rhyme characters, fairytale characters, and setting.  They came up with a HUGE list.  I was so proud of them. 

Our next step will be to begin the rough draft.  I've attached the two graphic organizers I am offering for the students.  Students will have a choice between writing a fractured fairytale and an origninal fairytale. 
Fractured Organizer

Original Organizer